a deal with myself

I hesitate to put this on the blog, you know, it's an 'I'm embarrassed to admit it but even more embarrassed if I fail' kind of thing.

Well, I joined a gym.

No, that's not the embarrassing part.... It's just a small workout place in a strip mall about 5 minutes from our house. Ten bucks a month. And, I signed up with a personal trainer (that was a little extra...). I see her twice a week for half an hour. And so far that's all I've done (see the trainer twice a week, although I am super sore from yesterday's lunge and squat workout). But, I am happy to admit that I have lost 5 pounds these past 3 weeks. I know that I need not only more time at the gym, or doing any type of strenuous workout, but that I also have got to change my eating habits.

I LOVE FOOD. I LOVE TO EAT.

This is a challenge for me.

For some odd reason, after having Reganne, I dropped all 45 pounds AND some fairly quickly. And all without any exercise. But this go round has been a little tougher on me. I lost the initial 25 pounds (of the 50 gained, just like I mentioned in my labor story) and thought that the rest of the weight, although slowly, would just come off. Well no. I just now (after this recent weight loss) have been able to pack away the maternity clothes in exchange for my "big" clothes (and I just barely fit in them). And these are clothes I wore weeks after having Reganne (Christian is now 11 weeks-almost 3 months). But every time I see those peanut butter M&Ms or those double stuffed Oreos, all thoughts of eating better and loosing weight go out the window (and I studied nutrition?!?). So I have made a deal with myself. Many people reward themselves with, well, food (not such a great idea) or by buying themselves stuff (don't really have the money for a spending spree). So I came up with my reward. When I lose 10 more pounds, I'll get my hair cut. My hair has been bugging me lately. Seems as soon as it's long enough to be pulled back, it doesn't look good down, so I am ALWAYS pulling it back, which doesn't look good either. So this is something I really REALLY want and it's not going to cost anything (well it is, it's just not going to cost anything extra, I'd have to cut my hair sometime anyhow). I'll have to come up with another incentive for the last 10 pounds. Maybe then, just the thought of unpacking the rest of my clothes will do it....

But so far it's working, and things are going better. I was able to walk past the Halloween Oreos yesterday and get just the peanut butter M&Ms. (I can't completely deprive myself, otherwise I just loose it.)

So if you see pictures of me with longer hair (ie, hair pulled back) in the upcoming months, you'll know that I'm not doing so well.

And I guess now this blog entry is another incentive to put away the brownie mix....