11.06.2008

do they have water in their ears

The last couple days have really been a struggle for me. Maybe it had something to do with the gloominess of the election... Anyhow, my girls have been driving me crazy! Never never listening to me. As if they can't hear me. As if they had water in their ears....

For example, yesterday after breakfast I told them to go upstairs so we could take a shower and get ready to go. We all went upstairs and then I made the mistake of getting on the computer. A few minutes later the girls come running into the "work room" (Marryn named it that, although it's more like our junk room). Reganne was wet, holding onto a squirt bottle. Marryn was next, not as wet but likewise holding a squirt bottle. And then she proceeds to squirt the water bottle. She thought it was very funny; me, not so much (did I mention I was in the work room, electronics and paperwork everywhere...). Anyhow, so I give her a look like "Are you stupid?" (It was only a look, no words.) She immediately stops and says, "Ok Mom, I'm sorry, I won't do it again" in a sweet, sorry voice. (Yes, I have heard that phrase quite often lately.) I then proceed to tell them to put up the squirt bottles and go get undressed in the bathroom, I'll be there in a minute (and yes, that is a phrase they hear quite often...). I of course get engrossed with whatever I was doing on the computer and pretty soon hear a ton of noise downstairs. I yell for them to come up. I yell a few more times. I then finally go downstairs to find Reganne is soaking wet and Marryn, well, a little damper than the last time. (I guess we know who was the better shot.) Now, this was Wednesday, after an awful Tuesday with the girls (I had called Joey to tell him not to be alarmed if he came home and Christian and I weren't there...just the girls...). So of course I blow my top. They just stare at me and then Marryn utters her famous little phrase, "I'm sorry, I won't do it again." So I drag them back upstairs, tell them 3 times to get undressed (which they finally do) and then I turn around to find them running out the door, heading back downstairs, naked! What, do they have water in their ears?!? The rest the morning continued about the same way. Me telling them something three times, each time my voice getting louder and louder before they finally do what I say. And it wasn't like I was asking them to do anything hard. It was things like, stand up, put your underwear on, bring me a diaper, etc. Stuff they do everyday. Then I finally hit Marryn's weak spot. She spied it. Her lifeline. Her little purse filled with her everyday essentials. You know, a little doll, colored pencils, empty pez dispensers(?). Her most precious possession that dad took away last night for misbehavior in which she cried herself to sleep over. Not a chance was she getting it. Unless, unless she was good. Unless she did everything I said, the first time. Not the second or the third, the first. That whipped her into shape. As for Reganne, well, she's two. Although as Marryn was better, she was better. So I think, for now anyhow, I found my secret weapon.


Interesting enough, as I look back over the past two days, I have to laugh. By Tuesday night (the night before the whole squirt bottle incident) I was so mad at Marryn, that I didn't even want to look at her. I didn't want to talk to her. I just wanted to ignore her. (I'm telling you, it was a bad bad day.) She, of course, sensed this and would try to be real sweet (only to ruin it minutes later with well, whatever she would do). I would be short with her (that's nice, good, fine, sure, whatever) and avoid any eye contact. And then it suddenly came to me. It was as if it was 20 years ago and I was the little girl, trying to win back my mom's affection and my mom, so mad at whatever I did (or we, likewise it was usually both my brother and me in trouble) was completely ignoring me. Oh, it was awful! More than any punishment, having my mom give me the silent treatment was the worst. And it was the one thing that would truly turn me around. I still cringe thinking of the times I have disappointed my mom. And now that I'm the mom, I see that it is not just a disappointment in the child, but also in myself. It is more than the simple misbehaving child that has to sit in timeout. It's a child that has gone beyond that and is now questioning the mother's worth. I know it sounds ridiculous, but that is exactly how I felt. "I must not be a good mother. I must not be teaching her right. I must not be loving her enough." I love my children so much, more than I ever thought I would. But it wasn't until I became a mother that I realized it. I mean, I knew that I would love my children, but to the point that I do was never even conceivable. I want the absolute best for them and I know that it starts with me. Hmmm. Let's go back to that 'election' I mentioned. Maybe it wasn't so much Marryn that was upsetting me, but rather the fear I have in where our country may be heading. Maybe it was the inadequacy that I felt; I can't get Marryn to listen to me at home, how am I going to get her to listen when she's out in the world, bombarded by unmoral, liberal ideas that are contrary to what I, or our Heavenly Father knows are right.

Whoa. I better stop there, or I might be here for days, venting those frustrations.

So what have I learned? Well, Marryn is only 4. And Reganne is only 2. They are good kids and I am a good mother (most the time). I can only love them so much and teach them so much then I must rely on the Lord to do what I can't.

There will be tough times ahead.

Oh, and my mom loves me more than I know.

10 happy thoughts:

The Simon Fam said...

Gotta love days like that. The ones that are so hard that you recieve personal revelation and inspiration. Does it have to come at such a price? Hang in there. Cute pictures.

christy said...

i totally know what you are going through. david has been doing the exact same thing this whole week! don't feel bad your obviously not the only mom to feel that way.

Koenig Family Blog said...

What a great post!!! There was a morning last week when I had to get out of the shower THREE times to stop the boys from fighting, getting into stuff etc... I think we have those days so we can appreicate the "good" ones more. Keep up the good work! I totally know how you feel with a 4, 2 and new baby, it is TOUGH some days!

Kim said...

Oh do I know what you are saying!!!! If we didn't love these little boogers so much we would quit doing this job. I always think to myself "if they would just listen, life would be sooooo easy and fun." I couldn't agree more with the whole questioning your own parenting. I think very seriously about not having any more because of my own inadequacy. At least you don't have family questioning your parenting and commenting on your child's every move. (it is less frequently fortunately)

Emily said...

Here is the proof Kelsey. You are a wonderful mother. Your kids are so dang lucky to have you. I feel your pain though. Right to the very core of doubting your own parenting ability. But keep up the good work. And even when they are super naughty, they are so so beautiful.

Ashli Dardenne said...

Kelsey!!! Hang in there. I'm sure you are a GREAT Mom. How are you doing? I got your blog link off of Amie & Jeremy's blog. Thought I'd check you out. Your family is beautiful! Such cute kids. Hope you are doing well.

Melissa King said...

Oh, I love this post Kelsey. It inspires me that I am not the only one who feels that way sometimes and that it is ok. I also love the comparison to your mom because that is exactly how I felt too. Thank you for putting it all into perspective for me.

Richards Fam said...

Hi Poll family. Your family sure has grown since I last saw you guys. You have beautiful children. Hopefully we can see you guys sometime when we come to Colorado.

The King Family said...

I am glad I am not the only way who feels that way sometimes too. Yes, there will be more tough times. We just have to love them, I guess and do what we can. You are an adorable little Mother and I can tell that you love those little kiddios so much.

The King Family said...

I love the little quotes from your kids to the side - the boringest baby ever, the human at the door and how much your feet cost. That is hilarious! I am laughing out loud. Too cute!