Good bye 2010.
And good riddance.

2010 was not a good year for me.

So here's to 2011.
A new year.
A new start.

And my word for 2011: enjoy.

When I look back over this past year not alot of joy comes to mind.  Yes, good things did happen, like our sweet little Kellen joining our family, but overall the year was well, not great.

My word for 2010 seems to have been survive.

And I'm not just talking about the toys that  litter our home.  Or the 2 year old who constantly gets yogurt and cottage cheese and sour cream and cookies and cereal all over.  Or the 1st grader who now throws jumping up and down tantrums.  Or the preschooler who flips out over anything.  Or even that sweet little baby who still wakes up every night between 4 and 6 am.  Or the running kids to and from school and the weekly YW activities and the never-ending piles of laundry and dirty dishes and the endless unfinished projects I've started.  Or the look of disappointment on the hubs face when yet again, there is no dinner or even an idea of what to even have for dinner.  Yes, these contribute to my survival mode, but they are not the cause.  I am the cause.  As I thought what my *theme* for this new year should be, the word simplify came to mind.  It's a great word.  And definitely something I need to work on.  But I realized that despite all my efforts, I have a lot going on.  And not much I can really cut out.  So last night, as I layed awake in bed thinking through this past year, it came to me.  My life is busy, it's hard, and not always what I want it to be.  And I can't change that.  What can I change?  I can change me.  I can change my state of mind.

So here's to 2011 and here's to enjoying it.  

Here's to enjoying my callings as a Young Women leader and a Visiting Teacher.  Or whatever they may be.
Here's to enjoying my hobbies in whatever little time I have to spare.
Here's to enjoying my what my home as to offer.
Here's to enjoying my kids.  In all aspects.
Here's to enjoying my time with my husband.
Here's to enjoying my life as it is.

I know it's not going to be easy.  But I have to try.

6 happy thoughts:

Skye said...

i hear you kelsey...loud and clear. i feel like despite some happy moments in 2010 i was just in survival mode and facing difficult moments more often than not. i'm going to give it my all to make this new year the best one yet. it'll take some work but i'm ready. i look forward to seeing you "enjoy" by reading your beautifully written stories and magical photos. i hope 2011 is full of health, happiness, and love for you and your family!

Jennifer said...

Can I copy and paste this blog into mine?? I think you summed up my life pretty much to a tee! I do have an extremely anal 1st grader..My home is far from where I want it...I never know what is for dinner..Projects, projects, project..so many unfinished..Like the album I started for a friend for her wedding in June of 09..Yikes..maybe for her 5 year anniversary..

We are busy! and things just are what they are..
Chin up, things will get better and one day you will miss all the chaos..I have to keep telling myself this..These are just moments. Here is to a Happy 2011!

Rachael said...

Loved this post!
haha ~ think I've been in survival mode for at least three years now. Think I've just given up on a lot of it, and really learned to enjoy the moments for what they are. Having more fun than ever now that motherhood has broken me in a bit.

It's interesting my outlook now. I listen to and watch new mothers with one or two, and how they fret over small things for no logical reason other than that it's not acceptable according to society as well as experts. And I think to myself - they still must think they have some control over life...little do they know.

I don't fret anymore over my sweet children enjoying other children's company when a mother is in need of a break, and her children are sick. I don't let things like that stop me anymore from doing the right thing. Whatever I am called to go through in this life, I will go through it with faith and trust in a God who is mighty to save. Any other way is simply putting ourselves into a protective bubble of self-preservation - which ultimately restricts us from further growth and enlightenment.

Thanks for this, it is a refreshing message, and one that I'm sure all of us stay at home mom's can attest to. It is truly a selfless calling, one that many are not fit to endure. It roots out selfishness and idolatry slowly and painfully. Full-time motherhood is a refiner's fire that few in this self-serving world are willing to endure. But I say, bring it on! Bring on the new year, and whatever trials may come my way. I know in whom I trust.

I want to print this out and hang it up (the list).

Take care! And enjoy every moment.
I've stopped brushing my teeth or studying my scriptures diligently. I've stopped many things that I used to think were vital to my survival. Only to find my vision simplified in the clearest way. Nothing matters as much as those we love and serve.

Sometimes the best thing to do is simply ask the Lord from moment to moment what He would have us do. I've been impressed with the answers at times because they have been just what I've needed (sometimes it is sitting down and watching a movie).
The Lord knows us and knows how we can continue growing into the sort of women we've always desired to be.

Happy New Year!!

Emily said...

Oh Kelsey, I so know the whole survival mode...I was in it for 2 years. Just know, it will get better, (just think of the day when Marryn can babysit for you while you go shopping, all by yourself!) It seems a long way off, it will come quickly. I just try to enjoy the moments. Thanks for your honesty. Happy New Year!

Kira said...

Wow, your word for 2010 could have been my word for 2009. That's a year I "endured" instead of "enjoyed" for almost the exact same reasons. Thanks for sharing so candidly. It's always encouraging and refreshing to have someone else acknowledge that life is not always roses and butterflies, but it's still a gift.

I'm visiting from Creative Juices Decor and I really appreciated this post. Thanks for sharing!

Chris and Paige Evans said...

You can do it!! I love your goals - I need to incorporate some of those myself :)