today

today is his last day being 2.

although he thinks he's been three for awhile now.

i'm going to miss this two year old.

he was so much fun.

i hope his threes prove to be just as much fun.

history tells me it will be a challenge.

{photo by marryn}

at my feet

he makes it very hard to get much done.
but i know one day i'll miss it like crazy.

how I shower

a movie.

a pack'n play.

and a 4 year old waiting to shower and get dressed herself.

and thank you for all the comments (both here and on facebook) from my last post.

kellen is doing great.

and we are doing better.

a febrile seizure

My kids have been sick.

Nothing too bad, but it's just been a constant round of snot and coughing and even a complete strip down of Reganne's bed when she threw up.

But like I said, nothing too bad.  Or too serious.

Until the other night.

Kellen was running a slight fever Sunday night.  We gave him some Tylenol and put him to bed.  Didn't think much of it, other than Marryn had a fever the night before.  The next day he woke up fine.  Wasn't warm, but we could tell he wasn't feeling his best.  Nothing too bad though.  I even set him up in the cart when I went grocery shopping.  He was good.  Enjoyed it.  Then later that afternoon he started to warm up again.  I gave him some Tylenol.  Joe came home awhile later and he was still pretty hot, about 102 degrees.  So he stripped him down.  I had him later and he was still roasting, so we put a cool rag on his head.  And then as I was holding him, his plug suddenly fell out of his mouth.  Then his eyes glazed over.

"Kellen?  Kellen!"  I jumped up.  "Joey, something's wrong with Kellen!  Something's wrong with Kellen!!"

He took him as he yelled, "Call 911."  Of course I grabbed his iPhone, which would have taken me 5 minutes to get through passwords and apps and whatnot to even figure out how to even make a call, but then I noticed my phone sitting on the counter.  I grabbed it and started to dial.  I looked over at Joey, who was holding Kellen on his shoulder, as if he was burping him.  He was very still.

"Is he breathing?"  He put his hand on back to check.

He wasn't.  He handed him back to me and we could see that he was completely, head to toe, purple.

It was an all too familiar sight.

I took him and rushed into the living room where I layed him on the ground and just kept thinking "I'm going to bury another baby.  I'm going to bury another baby."   Joe's on the phone now, telling the dispatcher what's going on and I'm trying to do mouth to mouth.  But I can't get his chin to lift up.  I can't get his head to move back.  I'm giving him breaths (all the while I'm completely freaking out) but can't tell if they're going in or not.  I just can't get his head to move.  I look back over him and his purple little legs are drawn into his chest and won't go down.  And his stomach is complete sucked in.  But I keep with it, doing the best I could.  Then slowly his little body relaxes.  His color starts to come back.

And he starts to breathe again.

Soon his eyes open back up and he starts to cry a little.  I pick him up, but the dispatcher says to keep him laying down with his chin up.  So I do.  And he just looks at us, slightly out of it, as his cries get more and more consistent and stronger.  I just want to hold him, but I don't know what just happened and I don't want to hurt him, so I leave him there and talk to him.  I try to comfort us both.

Soon the firemen arrive.  They do some quick checks, but seeing that he's breathing fine on his own, they tell me I can hold him.  They ask tons of questions and shaking, I do my best to answer.  The ambulance arrives and offers to take him to the hospital.  They load his car seat in the ambulance and I go with him.  Joe follows later.  (Sometime after he started breathing again, I managed to get through Joey's phone and call Jean, his mom, to come over.  In addition we had a great neighbor who came over to offer help with the other kids and other neighbors who called as well.) 
  
In the ambulance, they don't find anything wrong other than a high temperature.  I relay the story again and the parametric thinks it was a seizure.  Again at the hospital I relay the story.

A Febrile Seizure.

Although extremely scary, they are completely benign.  The worry is not so much the seizure, but why do they have a temperature.

So at the hospital, they check him out.  His oxygen levels are excellent (98-99).  His heart rate is a little high, but nothing too worry about about (and it went down as the night went on).  His lungs are clear.  They did a quick test for the flu-negative.  Stiffness in the neck?  None.  (To rule out meningitis.)  Other than his high temp and a slightly stuffy nose, he was fine.  He mostly just wanted to snuggle with us, but occasionally would sit up and coo and play with his plug.  They gave him ibuprofen soon after we got there (around 8pm) and just kept monitoring his temp.  By 11 pm he was still running a temp around 102-103.  They gave him Tylenol and finally it started to go down a little.  We were on our way home now with instructions to keep him cool.  No clothes, no blankets, cool baths, cool room (open windows, turn on fans).  Just keep him cool.

Now, during all the commotion, Marryn was right there.  She was sitting on the couch when he seized up.  And although Joey sent her and the other kids upstairs, she knew something terrible was going on.  My freaking out didn't help either.  She was screaming, so much that the 911 dispatcher could hear her and Joey had to tell him that was another child crying.  She was complaining of an earache earlier, and while we were gone, kept complaining about it (despite having had medicine) and couldn't sleep.  I may not always know what's going on with my kids, but I knew that it wasn't as much her ear as it was Kellen that was keeping her up.  So when we got home, around 1 am, she was still awake, so I took Kellen into her room so she could see him.  That he was fine and home.  She went right to sleep after that.  And even the next day, she didn't have a trace of an earache and just wanted to be near Kellen and hold him.  It was really sweet.

So anyhow, we put Christian in our bed while I slept in his bed next to Kellen.  We closed off the vent to keep the room cool.  I froze.  He woke up twice.  The first I laid him down with me to nurse, and he was noticeably cooler.  He slept with me for awhile before waking up again, which we gave him more ibuprofen.  He then slept the rest the night.  Woke up happy and much cooler.  The day went on and as the afternoon hit, so did his fever.  We kept with the *treatments* of keeping him cool and didn't have anymore problems.   Woke up again without a fever, but was noticeably irritable.  And I myself wasn't feeling so great either.  I wasn't running a fever, but was constantly going from freezing to sweating, and my whole body just ached.  Even at night I couldn't sleep well.  But today I'm feeling a bit better.  And Kellen seems to be happier as well.   He even got into his favorite plant this morning.  Nothing like a little dirt to say I'm feeling better;).

Now back to his seizure.  

Is a Febrile Seizure dangerous?  No.  It is completely benign.  Yes, he stopped breathing, but only for about a minute or so.  There is no damage to him from this.  What caused this seizure?  An *overreaction* of his brain to his temperature rising too quickly.  Could he have one again?  Yes.  Now that he's had one, there is about a 30% chance he could have another, but only up until the age of 5 or so.  But he's not prone to seizures in general because of this.  Can we prevent them?  Possibly, by being proactive when he does start to warm up, but many times it may happen before we even realize he has started to develop a fever.  What should we do if it does happen?  Lay him down and wait for it to be over.  Am I comfortable with watching this happen again?  No.  Not at all.

This was a terrible experience.  But I am so very grateful that it was not something worse.  I have heard of these seizures before, but honestly knew very little about them.  Never thought it'd be something that I'd have to deal with.  So I hope our little story might help educate other parents.  But honestly when your child, for no apparent reason, stops breathing and turns purple, it's hard to stop and think, "Hmmm, maybe it's just a benign febrile seizure..."
 

enjoy

Good bye 2010.
And good riddance.

2010 was not a good year for me.

So here's to 2011.
A new year.
A new start.

And my word for 2011: enjoy.

When I look back over this past year not alot of joy comes to mind.  Yes, good things did happen, like our sweet little Kellen joining our family, but overall the year was well, not great.

My word for 2010 seems to have been survive.

And I'm not just talking about the toys that  litter our home.  Or the 2 year old who constantly gets yogurt and cottage cheese and sour cream and cookies and cereal all over.  Or the 1st grader who now throws jumping up and down tantrums.  Or the preschooler who flips out over anything.  Or even that sweet little baby who still wakes up every night between 4 and 6 am.  Or the running kids to and from school and the weekly YW activities and the never-ending piles of laundry and dirty dishes and the endless unfinished projects I've started.  Or the look of disappointment on the hubs face when yet again, there is no dinner or even an idea of what to even have for dinner.  Yes, these contribute to my survival mode, but they are not the cause.  I am the cause.  As I thought what my *theme* for this new year should be, the word simplify came to mind.  It's a great word.  And definitely something I need to work on.  But I realized that despite all my efforts, I have a lot going on.  And not much I can really cut out.  So last night, as I layed awake in bed thinking through this past year, it came to me.  My life is busy, it's hard, and not always what I want it to be.  And I can't change that.  What can I change?  I can change me.  I can change my state of mind.

So here's to 2011 and here's to enjoying it.  

Here's to enjoying my callings as a Young Women leader and a Visiting Teacher.  Or whatever they may be.
Here's to enjoying my hobbies in whatever little time I have to spare.
Here's to enjoying my what my home as to offer.
Here's to enjoying my kids.  In all aspects.
Here's to enjoying my time with my husband.
Here's to enjoying my life as it is.

I know it's not going to be easy.  But I have to try.

been busy

New baby.

Stomach bugs.

End of school stuff.

Colds.

Tantrums.

Sleeplessness.

Been busy.

And tired.

ward hunt

   

So Tuesday, on the most beautiful day, we had our little ward Easter Egg Hunt. 

And it was not without a little drama. 

Can you guess from who?

First thing, we were late.  You should NEVER be late to an egg hunt.  The girls couldn't find their other easter basket.  (I found it, right where I told them to look.)  So we get there about 10 minutes late, but as we walk up, sure everything is found, a few other moms greet me.  These ladies are pros.  Every child was only suppose to get only 12 eggs (the 12 *donated* for each kid by the parents).  So they were pointing left and right where eggs still were, one mom even giving me her son's bag of eggs (Thanks Lindsay!)  So as I plopped those on the ground for Christian, who LOVED it, the girls took off towards the playset with empty baskets in tow.  Not long later I hear a thump and a scream as a mom runs towards the playset.

Yes.  It was Marryn.

She fell right off the little 3 foot slide. 

And was pretty tramatized by it.

But to be fair, (I didn't see it-so glad I didn't), the moms who did said she fell pretty hard. 

So there I am, 9 months pregnant holding my 5 year old trying to calm her down. 

I finally set her down to look her over when she sees it. 

A drop of blood.

Oh man.

Seriously, it was only a tiny scrape from the woodchips. 

So then starts the next round of screams.

Then I realize, where are my other kids?

I frantically look around to see that I was in good hands.  One mom had taken Reganne and was helping her find some eggs while Miranda, one of our Young Women had Christian, helping him with his eggs.  And well, the same mom who ran to Marryn's aid was running to her car (with her own little kids in tow) for a band-aid. 

Well, it took Marryn awhile, (and that band-aid, some alone time hunting for eggs, and some chocolate) and then she was back to playing.

Although neither girl wanted to stop for a picture.  Can you tell?

And now, as promised, some pictures of Christian's haircut.

(Just a little side note, Joey cut it with his beard trimmer, and no, Christian was not too thrilled about it and well, wouldn't exactly hold still.  But we love it!  He totally looks like a little boy now.)

He was really into finding the eggs. 

But then he discovered the candy in them.

And that was that.

These last pictures makes me cringe...eating jelly beans off a dirty park table...but by that point, I was in a "whatever" mood;).

a sick update

I guess I better post an update on the kids, before everyone really starts to worry that we've been swept away by the swine or something...;)

After my last post, I decided to take Reganne in. She was very excited about it and it perked her right up. Must be the sticker she knows she'll get at the end. And other than the vomiting and little bit of diarrhea, she was fine. Doctor did prescribe some medicine to help her keep stuff down. And it worked great. Didn't get sick again until the next morning...and then we just gave her another dose and she was good to go.

Christian started throwing up that next day, but just a couple times. And it was so sad. I think it wore him out just a little bit more. But like Reganne, he was fine otherwise. We put off a weekend trip to see my parents (who were visiting my brothers on the Western Slope) because we weren't sure how things were going to continue, but no one else got sick.

So the week continued on. Wednesday was Reganne's birthday (more to come) and Marryn's school was cancelled that day, despite having hardly a flurry until that afternoon (???) and Thursday (with a little bit of snow on the ground-we were not hit like "they" said we would be) and then Friday came along and so did a fever in Marryn. So she stayed home from school. No other problems, just a fever that was easy to bring down with some Tylenol. Saturday, same thing. Sunday-good to go. But then, yes, Reganne had a fever...and Monday too...but today is doing fine.

Now, as for me.

I. Got. Sick. (And after I bragged about how I never get sick...)

With a cold.

And it totally knocked me out.

Halloween, I could hardly get out of bed. Didn't even take any pictures of the kids. But don't worry, Grandma Jean was here and not only did she take care of everyone, she took some pictures:) Sunday I managed to stake claim on the couch and eat dinner, but that was about it. I'm better now. Just have a normal cold now, you know, cough, stuffy nose, that kind of stuff. But no fever or chills or body aches. Man, I have never had a cold like that before. Friday night when my chest was just burning, I thought, I better visit the Urgent Care in the morning, but I after a "you'll-feel-better-after-a-shower" shower, I was so wiped out that I never made it. But I got better, so no big deal.


But then I'm sad to say, Grandma Jean left us yesterday...with the start of a cold...


Yes, I am so sorry that she's sick, but I am SO grateful that she was here.

end of a good day

So that good day I was talking about. Yeah, it ended. At about 1am. Reganne came into our room, a common practice of hers, came to my side and as I reached over to pull her up, she proceeded to throw up all over me.

Nice.

We hopped in the shower, Joey cleaned up the bed. Made a little bed out of thick bathmats next to us and by 2ish, we were wide awake.

Reganne quickly fell back asleep and slept fine. She woke up asking for food. I hesitated, but after a call to the doctor, gave her a little. She has no fever, acting fine. Then as Marryn and I sat down for lunch, she came over, begging for more food and then threw up again.

Still no fever, acting like herself and laughing at the cartoons.

Good thing I managed to finish all the laundry last night;) Got a butt load to do now.

Ugg.

an apology

As I was hanging out Sunday afternoon (Joe was at church teaching a lesson, I was home with three snot-nosed kids), after a nice weekend, I was thinking about my recent post of "a single mom." (If you're reading this on Facebook, you'll have to look it up on my blog. I needed to make a change and once it posts on Facebook, I can't change it-so it got deleted.)

I feel I need to apologize. Apologize to any actual single moms out there. And to those non-single moms who really are living a single life. I know that I am very fortunate. Right now the evenings are lonely without my hubs, but this is temporary. And weekends are still spent together.

My complaints of Joe working late hours are not because he's not here to help, I'm actually doing quite well (surprisingly), but no, they're because I miss him. There is nobody else I'd rather be with than him. That would be why I married him;) So to have the night fade upon me, and him not being home, well, it just makes me a little sad. I'm spoiled. I know.

So again, to those mothers who really are single or to those whose husbands work alot (weekends and all) or to that mother whose husband is the bishop;), I apologize for my petty complaints. I may not have it as great right now, but it could be worse.

As for today. Wonderful 70 degree weather. Lovin' our new patio (extended it from a 10x10 to a 15x17). The kids have been in and out all day. Literally. That's what Christian does. Goes out. Walks around. Throws a ball. Comes back in. Walks around. Then repeats the process. Love our sliding glass door (with screen) and big windows looking out back. Our last house had none, so I hesitated to send the kids out by themselves. The ice cream truck even made a stop in front of our house. I have never bought anything from him, but the girls were so excited and they did each get a dollar from Grandma in the mail today, so I let them pick out a Popsicle. Or course they only had a choice of 2 that were a dollar. Good thing they're little still;) And as for that mountain of laundry, it's gone. Almost. And all our pots and pans. Clean.

Today was a good day.

And Joe will be home early tonight. Broncos are on;)

a single mom

Yes. That is what I've been feeling like lately.

Joe's been swamped at work. It's the end of a big financial...thingy(?), he's still somewhat training a new hire and his most recent boss left a few weeks ago for another job. So, getting home around 8pm if not later has been the norm lately. But I've been managing everything fine. Well fine if you agree that that means lots of take out, piles and piles of laundry (oh laundry...don't let me get started on that!) and stacks of dirty dishes;) It's not my ideal way of life, but I understand. Joe's job is important. It is what provides for our family. The good news: Joe has earned a promotion.

Yippee!

But with a promotion comes a price. A price in more time. But we're excited for this new opportunity for him. We know that this is a blessing from Heavenly Father. So, I better settle into my new role as a single mom. At least he's home to brush their teeth and put them in bed before we start watching Friends reruns;)

Well, what has a *single mom* and her family been up to lately besides that never ending mountain of laundry and running kids to and from school? Lets see...

***

Painted the girls' room while Joey was gone for the week in Cali and Kansas. Not quite the color I was envisioning, even Marryn said it looked "gold." But I think I'm liking it. (Hopefully I'll get the shelves and *stuff* put up soon-then we can really tell if it looks good.)

***
Went to World Market with my 25% off coupon. Proceeded to stare at this table.

Bought some oil jars and left.

***
Finally finished the backyard. Well, finished for this season. All that dirt is just waiting for some plants.

***

Marryn had her 5 year check-up and 5 booster shots. 38 lbs - 50%, 44 inches - 75%

***

Christian had his 15 month check-up with only 4 shots. 21.10 lbs - 25%, 31 inches - 55% (at least he's getting a little taller...Joey's really worried he's going to get my short genes...)

***

Put up some Halloween decorations.

***

Got hit with some pretty cold frost and a little bit of snow.

***

Eating lots of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Vegan approved for Joey.

***

Had to get Marryn a new pair of school shoes. Her $10 Target brand maryjanes are just not holding up. Trying to find a solid white pair of sneakers was not easy. Nor pretty. She loves her no-tie curly q's though;)

***

To my Mom

Thank you for teaching me, especially how to clean.

Thank you for being so stinkin' funny and fun to be with.

Thank you for supporting me, even when you don't agree with my choices.

Thank you for being a great mom to me, and those darn boys.

Thank you for the example of how to be a mom and a wife.

Thank you for loving me.

To my Pun-kins

Thank you for making me a mom.

Thank you for insisting I brush your teeth and read you stories.

Thank you for listening to me, most of the time.

Thank you for going shopping with me, even when you really just want to go back home.

Thank you for the snuggles and the kisses.
Thank you for loving me. And telling me so.

the mother ship

The Mother Ship.

Or in my case, The Small Rescue Boat.

I have learned over the past few years, that I don't need to carry with me every little thing the kids might need. Or want. No. As Marryn moved out of the baby stage I found the need for a diaper bag to be, well, I didn't really need one. A diaper, wipes and a snack or two with her sippy cup was all we really needed. Carrying a big bag around, pointless. So I added a few things to my purse and my load was lightened. Then Reganne came along. And although I would need a little more, I didn't have the arms to lug around the diaper bag. So into my purse went a few more items. I did have a diaper bag, stocked permanently in the car (of which I rarely even needed). This was working out great for us.

Just before adding another babe to the picture, I found the PERFECT purse at TJ Max. It has been great. In this *medium sized* purse, I keep 2 diapers (one for each diapered kid) on one side with my phone, on the other side I keep a package of wipes and disposable changing pad (super easy and fast to get to!). In the main compartment I have snacks, a plug, a small toy, stickers, bandaids and spray neosporin (after Marryn's little "runover" incident) plus my wallet, coupon case, sunglasses and a few other necessities (pen, chapsticks, lotion, ibuprofen, etc.). And the girls are in charge of their own waters. Everyone also has their own "car" blanket. So here we are, I have everything I would need all the time with me, condensed into one little purse. Excellent.

Now on the rare(er) occasion that Christian has a blowout, well, there is an extra onesie and sleeper in the car. Or in the case of last week, I just purchased a new outfit, some Gap jammies ;).

the role of women

I am our ward's 2nd Counselor in the Young Women's. And I love it. It's a lot of work and I still can't help but feel intimidated by the girls, but I love it all the same. In our ward, the Advisers do all the Sunday teachings (yeah!), except for the first Sundays when the Presidency takes turns each month. So this Sunday was my day to teach. I am not a teacher. Standing up in front of people (even teenage girls) makes me a little anxious, although I'm getting *better* at it. But as I was looking over the lesson a few weeks ago, I was so excited for this topic. The lesson development?

We Accept the Lord's View of the Roles of Women.

So I had been thinking about it throughout the week, and then Friday (yes, way to wait to the last minute) I did my Visiting Teaching (and was visit taught myself;) and what was the topic?

Understanding the Divine Roles of Women.

How grateful I am for the Lord and the knowledge I have of Him and His teachings. And how grateful I am for the role He has given me as a woman. I am to be a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister. And there is no more a noble calling than that.

Through Facebook, I've gotten in contact with alot of high school classmates. I went to a small high school on the Western Slope (about 70 in my graduating class) and there was only one other member of the church in my class. (Well, 2, but he wasn't all into it....) But don't get me wrong, there were a ton of great kids at my school who had good values. As I'm catching up with these classmates, I'm finding some are married, some have kids, and some are both married with kids and some are neither. And most work. Some are teachers, some are nurses, and some are even doctors and a few, just a few are stay-at-home-moms. So then they ask in a roundabout way, what do you do, what have you been up to? And I have to admit, I almost feel ashamed to say I stay home with my kids. No, didn't finish school. Don't have a career. Don't have a job. Didn't make a place out there in the world for myself.

I HATE that I feel this way.

Because THIS, being a wife and a mom, is what I chose. What I wanted. I cringe thinking about getting up and going to a job, leaving my kids with someone else (and it wouldn't matter who!). I do dream about the day I continue my education. Not get a degree, just continue learning. As far as I'm considered, I don't need the degree, I just want more knowledge. I want to know more to help aid my family. That's why I gave up pediatrics. Yes, as I graduated high school, I wanted to attend med school to become a pediatrician. (ha!) But it always weighed on my mind, but how am I going to take care of my family...? My first semester I took an advanced nutrition course and LOVED it! And I instantly knew what I was going to do. Not be, do. I was going to study nutrition, learn all this great stuff to better raise a family and then I'd work until I had a family. (Who knew that family would come long before the education finished!)

So why do I feel this way? I am doing just what I want. I am doing just what the Lord wants. So why?

It's society. Society has taught us this is right. That raising kids is for lower educated or specifically educated women and college students just getting by. Or Grandmas. Not for an educated, strong woman. It has taught us that changing diapers, reading stories and playing Barbies, while anxiously awaiting our husband's return from work, is not something that will make a difference in our society. It has taught us to look out for ourselves, do what we want.

As I was going through my lesson, I was really struck by what it said.

The worldly views of women's roles is false partly because it is selfcentered. It focuses so much on a woman's rights to receive that it almost ignores her opportunities to give.

That's it! There it is, written right before my eyes. And written years ago (we all know how old those manuals are;). Now for those teachers and nurses and doctors, well yes, those are all very giving jobs. The most important in my mind. So I have nothing to say to those women who take on those roles, other than, thank you. Thank you so very much. But as for myself, and the many other women who chose (or would chose if they could) to stay home and take care of their families, way to go! You have taken on the most unselfish and giving job there is (you can refer to my past post about moms for that one). And the most important. To quote President Spencer W. Kimball, both from the YW and Visiting Teaching lesson,

"To be a righteous woman is a glorious thing in any age. To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Saviour, is an especially noble calling.... She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home - which is society's basic and most noble institution."

I am so grateful that I get to stay home. I know there are many moms out there who wish they could too, but don't have a choice and my heart goes out to them. I know that I am blessed. I have been blessed to be a wife and a mother. And I know that my calling is tougher than I ever imagined, but it will reap the greatest rewards. Through my *mundane* day to day life, I am shaping children who will grow with opportunities to become great influences, whether through a job, a calling, or through becoming a mom themselves. And I am so grateful for the Lord and His Church, and the many members who strive to follow his teachings. It is a great, great strength in my life. And I am so grateful for our Prophet, President Monson, who always thanks the mothers of our current leaders and members.

And I am grateful for my own mom, who stayed home with us.

for everyone

My friend Annie posted this on her blog. I love it and wanted to share it as well.

(Sorry, it's hard to read. I made it as big as I could, and it doesn't get much bigger if you click on it...)

Although it may be directed to those without kids, I personally took it as a reassurance that I'm doing okay. I sometimes wonder myself, "what do I do all day?" and "why am I always so tired?" Whether I know it or not, I am constantly doing something even if I currently have nothing to show for it.

And if you want a little more pick me up, I have a great quote posted over on the side of my blog, 'Why I Do What I Do'.

my valentine present

I am not a big Oh-surprise-me-with-something-special (ie, flowers, candy, jewelry, etc.) kind of girl. No no. I prefer to get my own presents. Or I'll tell you just what I want. (I LOVE giftcards-those are my most favorite presents-a gift PLUS an excuse to shop, and not at our expense!) Anyhow. Don't get me wrong. I have been surprised with great gifts. But I have also gotten great gifts that I really don't need. Or want. (I've even been labeled by some as the Queen of Returns. I have even returned things I have purchased for myself...) At this stage in my life, money is tight and I want a lot of stuff. And I don't want alot of "other stuff" just hanging out. So when it comes to gifts, please get me what I want or need. Even if it is a case of toilet paper. (Seriously.)

So, back to Valentine's Day. I told Joey, no gifts. And not a don't-get-me-anything-but-just-kidding,-I'll-be-upset-if-you-don't. No, I really meant it. And I wasn't getting him anything either. Which, by the way, is Joey's favorite gift from me. (This was the same for Christmas.) Sure, I'd love to get a bouquet of flowers or really good chocolate (not the lame-o stuff in those traditional heart boxes), but I'd rather have some of the scrapbook crap I just bought myself a few days ago... So Valentine's Day came. I got nothing. Joey got nothing.

But then I started to think about it later in the day.

I got to sleep in.

I got to sleep in while Joey got up with all the kids.

I got to sleep in like I get to every weekend.

I got to sleep in like I get to every day.

We are night owls. No matter how tired we are, we have a hard time going to bed before midnight. Awful, I know. The kids go to bed anywhere from 8-10 and then we just veg out in front of the TV. Watching sport highlights, design shows or Friends reruns. This is what we do. And we enjoy it. So then we get to bed around 12 and Christian almost always wakes up sometime in the night (yes, I really don't know when, Joey gets him) and I nurse him while I sleep. And then I often wake up to an empty bed because, yes, Joey has taken Christian back to his crib. And then later Joey gets up for work. When? I don't know. I sleep through it all. If the girls get up, he gets them food and cartoons. He then leaves for work somewhere between 8 and 9. And if the girls aren't screaming at each other yet, I'm still sleeping in bed. So then the weekend rolls around. These are my days to really sleep in. Once again, the kids get up and Joey gets up with them. Even though he's running on less sleep. He's willing to do this for me. Everyday. And on this particular day, Reganne got up early early in the morning. I just slightly woke up to hear Joey telling her to come onto his side, "Mom's sleeping."

I have the most incredible man in the world.

And going back to that whole presents thing. Want to know what he got for me on our first Valentine's? We had only been dating a few months and he surprised me with the 4 DVDs of The Best of Friends (this was prior to any of the seasons being out to buy-and yes after purchasing all 10 seasons, I got rid of them...). Now, that was a great surprise.

One more thing. I had gotten the girls each a little red jewelry case and had them setting out (wrapped up) for them to find that morning. Joey said that when Reganne saw them, she whispered real seriously, "Santa came."

kids really can sleep anywhere

So, as I mentioned in an earlier post, naptime and bedtime with Reganne has been a little rough without the 'plug'. She fights us so much, that we often skip the nap, and by bedtime, she's so tired, but refuses to go to bed...

Joey had been trying to get her in bed and she would just scream and fight him. Well, he gave up. I was downstairs nursing the baby, so when I was done, I went up, put Christian in the cradle and then went into the girls' room. Marryn started yaking a million miles a minute, telling me something about how she was trying to help Reganne into bed and then I realize that yes, Reganne was asleep. She was standing up, asleep. It was so strange/funny/cute. And as she stood there, she'd start to lean back to one side, her back leg bending, then suddenly, it'd catch her, straighten up and push her back upwards! Although, when we actually put her into bed, her eyes popped right open and I had to lay there with her for quite awhile until she drifted back off.

She really has had a couple of rough nights though. Yesterday I found her in her bathroom, with Marryn's sample of mouth rinse from the dentist, empty, in the sink.

"Did you drink this?"
"Yes, I drink it."
"Did you spill it down the sink?"
"Yes, I spill it down sink."

This went on a few times before I gave up and just called the poison center. (All the while, Christian is screaming in the background...the lady asked if that was her - the one who swallowed the mouthwash, but oh no, that's my other baby - I'm surprised she didn't have someone come take my kids from me...) Fortunately the bottle was only half full, which was about .5 fluid ounces, so she said not to worry and just have her drink milk. Yeah right. Reganne drink milk...not happening. Not even with a ton of chocolate. I did trick her into a few drinks, but then she got too smart for me.

Well, later that night, she comes into our room and Joey takes her back to her bed only to bring her back. Yes, she had puked in her bed. Not too bad, but yes, it was pink...like pink bubblegum mouthwash pink? Oh yeah. We kept her with us and she was fine the rest the night.

So then this morning, Marryn wants some milk. I pour her some only to realize that yes, the milk is bad. Oops. And now, (yes I know, there's more to this horrible story!) her nose is running. She's getting a couple of molars.

This should make for some more fun times!

do they have water in their ears

The last couple days have really been a struggle for me. Maybe it had something to do with the gloominess of the election... Anyhow, my girls have been driving me crazy! Never never listening to me. As if they can't hear me. As if they had water in their ears....

For example, yesterday after breakfast I told them to go upstairs so we could take a shower and get ready to go. We all went upstairs and then I made the mistake of getting on the computer. A few minutes later the girls come running into the "work room" (Marryn named it that, although it's more like our junk room). Reganne was wet, holding onto a squirt bottle. Marryn was next, not as wet but likewise holding a squirt bottle. And then she proceeds to squirt the water bottle. She thought it was very funny; me, not so much (did I mention I was in the work room, electronics and paperwork everywhere...). Anyhow, so I give her a look like "Are you stupid?" (It was only a look, no words.) She immediately stops and says, "Ok Mom, I'm sorry, I won't do it again" in a sweet, sorry voice. (Yes, I have heard that phrase quite often lately.) I then proceed to tell them to put up the squirt bottles and go get undressed in the bathroom, I'll be there in a minute (and yes, that is a phrase they hear quite often...). I of course get engrossed with whatever I was doing on the computer and pretty soon hear a ton of noise downstairs. I yell for them to come up. I yell a few more times. I then finally go downstairs to find Reganne is soaking wet and Marryn, well, a little damper than the last time. (I guess we know who was the better shot.) Now, this was Wednesday, after an awful Tuesday with the girls (I had called Joey to tell him not to be alarmed if he came home and Christian and I weren't there...just the girls...). So of course I blow my top. They just stare at me and then Marryn utters her famous little phrase, "I'm sorry, I won't do it again." So I drag them back upstairs, tell them 3 times to get undressed (which they finally do) and then I turn around to find them running out the door, heading back downstairs, naked! What, do they have water in their ears?!? The rest the morning continued about the same way. Me telling them something three times, each time my voice getting louder and louder before they finally do what I say. And it wasn't like I was asking them to do anything hard. It was things like, stand up, put your underwear on, bring me a diaper, etc. Stuff they do everyday. Then I finally hit Marryn's weak spot. She spied it. Her lifeline. Her little purse filled with her everyday essentials. You know, a little doll, colored pencils, empty pez dispensers(?). Her most precious possession that dad took away last night for misbehavior in which she cried herself to sleep over. Not a chance was she getting it. Unless, unless she was good. Unless she did everything I said, the first time. Not the second or the third, the first. That whipped her into shape. As for Reganne, well, she's two. Although as Marryn was better, she was better. So I think, for now anyhow, I found my secret weapon.

Interesting enough, as I look back over the past two days, I have to laugh. By Tuesday night (the night before the whole squirt bottle incident) I was so mad at Marryn, that I didn't even want to look at her. I didn't want to talk to her. I just wanted to ignore her. (I'm telling you, it was a bad bad day.) She, of course, sensed this and would try to be real sweet (only to ruin it minutes later with well, whatever she would do). I would be short with her (that's nice, good, fine, sure, whatever) and avoid any eye contact. And then it suddenly came to me. It was as if it was 20 years ago and I was the little girl, trying to win back my mom's affection and my mom, so mad at whatever I did (or we, likewise it was usually both my brother and me in trouble) was completely ignoring me. Oh, it was awful! More than any punishment, having my mom give me the silent treatment was the worst. And it was the one thing that would truly turn me around. I still cringe thinking of the times I have disappointed my mom. And now that I'm the mom, I see that it is not just a disappointment in the child, but also in myself. It is more than the simple misbehaving child that has to sit in timeout. It's a child that has gone beyond that and is now questioning the mother's worth. I know it sounds ridiculous, but that is exactly how I felt. "I must not be a good mother. I must not be teaching her right. I must not be loving her enough." I love my children so much, more than I ever thought I would. But it wasn't until I became a mother that I realized it. I mean, I knew that I would love my children, but to the point that I do was never even conceivable. I want the absolute best for them and I know that it starts with me. Hmmm. Let's go back to that 'election' I mentioned. Maybe it wasn't so much Marryn that was upsetting me, but rather the fear I have in where our country may be heading. Maybe it was the inadequacy that I felt; I can't get Marryn to listen to me at home, how am I going to get her to listen when she's out in the world, bombarded by unmoral, liberal ideas that are contrary to what I, or our Heavenly Father knows are right.

Whoa. I better stop there, or I might be here for days, venting those frustrations.

So what have I learned? Well, Marryn is only 4. And Reganne is only 2. They are good kids and I am a good mother (most the time). I can only love them so much and teach them so much then I must rely on the Lord to do what I can't.

There will be tough times ahead.

Oh, and my mom loves me more than I know.

rough week

So, Joey has been in Pennsylvania since Sunday. And isn't coming home until Friday night. It's been challenging, to say the least. Reganne was up all Saturday night coughing (coughed so much it woke Marryn up who got in bed with us), and now has a runny nose to go along with the hacking. And she just got over a cold a week ago! Christian had his 2 month check up on Monday (13 lbs 1oz (75%) and 24.5 inches (50%) and head...(50%)) and got 3 shots. He DID NOT like those. So he's been cranky the past few days, just wants to be held. And then Marryn. Tonight she just kept crying, saying her tooth hurt.... Funny, last time Joey went on a business trip I had to deal with a sick child-Marryn. Now she is the WORST sick kid. Just whines and cries, even while she sleeps. So I'm glad she isn't sick...yet.... Anyhow. Here's some fun pictures of Christian. Enjoy!

the power of an example

We've all heard it before. Be a good example, you never know who's watching. And every once in awhile we see the "results" of being that example but not usually. Even when you have kids, you often don't see how they copy you and your mannerisms. It's normal to you, so it's normal for them to do it (unless of course when your toddler yells out "CRAP" or something of the sort -hopefully nothing worse-, something a child should not be doing). But I have really started to see just how young you can be to be an example and just how young you really can be to follow it (or just copy it).

The other day Reganne (now 17 months) dropped a toy on her toe. She came whimpering over to me saying "ah right, ah right" in her sweet little voice. Then she lifted up her foot for me to kiss. After my all healing kiss, she ran back to her toys. She's never done that before. Who does? Marryn. ALL THE TIME. Every bump, scrape, hit, whatever, she runs to us saying she's all right, but she needs a kiss. Then presto, good as new. (It'll be so sad when that kiss doesn't heal all.) But as I watched the girls this morning, I kept thinking of all these little things that Reganne does as a result of watching Marryn. She loves to "dress up" now. She brings me clothes (of course not the ones from the dress up basket, but ones from Marryn's closet or drawers) and wants me to put them on, (or finds a hat, usually Marryn's beanies, and puts it on herself) then she turns in circles singing "I know" over and over (as in I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream - the song from Sleeping Beauty). Now, I don't do this, who does? Yep, Marryn. One of the funniest is when Marryn wants a cup of milk. We pour her some milk in her sippy cup and now who wants some? Reganne. Only Reganne won't drink milk. But we still have to pour her some (I guess I'm really hoping all this wasted milk will eventually turn her into a milk drinker, but if not, I don't blame her, I don't like milk myself). So we pull out another sippy cup and fill it half up. Sometimes we even add a little chocolate. Marryn gets so excited, so, so does Reganne. And she'll carry that cup around with her, taking little sips here and there, but never actually drinking it.

Now all this good example stuff it great, but what about the other end. Reganne, our mellow child started throwing herself on the floor in full out fits very early on. Way too early. The other day Marryn got pretty upset with me because I turned off the TV. As she jumped up and down screaming, I glanced over at Reganne, her eyes all big and engrossed in what Marryn was doing. Great. Another learning moment. We've been trying to explain to Marryn that she needs to be good so Reganne will be good and for the most part, she's so sweet, even to Reganne. But she is only 3. Her "wants" can quickly overpower her.

So what's the point of my blabbing on and on? Nothing really, except that I'm learning what other mothers of siblings already know. Each child learns "stuff" quicker and earlier on than the one before, all by the power of example.

My biggest fear with our next child is all the physical stuff. I've always heard how boys are so much more "physically inclined" than girls. And now this little boy will have two older siblings showing him all this jumping and climbing and stuff that they can do, but he shouldn't, but will anyways. I guess the good thing is that I'll be even less nervous than I was with Marryn, and then with Reganne (who did climb up stuff way earlier than Marryn...).

Reganne had to dress up too.

And play with the butterfly net.

And yes, that is milk in her cup. And no, she did not drink it.