sunny-side up

Apparently, sunny-side up refers to more than just a way to prepare eggs.

It is also a not-so-fun way to deliver a baby.

***Warning:  This is a birth story***

My doctor was willing to induce me any time after April 1st.  Anytime we wanted.  Or we could just wait.  I wasn't actually due until the 9th and really didn't want to have a baby over Easter...although I thought an April 4th baby would be fun-that would be my brother, John's birthday, of which is what we planned on naming the baby (it's a family name on both sides).  So it was ironic when late in the afternoon on April 1st I started to have severe back pain.  And it just wouldn't go away.  Now, this has been the first baby I've carried that I could actually tell where he was, for all his little extremities would pop out of just one side of my belly, for he was head down to the side.  And he was also facing more upward.  So the next day, Good Friday, Joey had off and I was getting a little worried.  The pain was awful, but on just that one side his head was pressing against.  I have also carried him really high, and could tell he was dropping.  In fact, I woke up one morning the week before panicking because he had dropped so much, and according to the *books*, this is a sign he's coming soon...  So I made a visit to the doctor's office only to find out that I was still only 2 centimeters dilated and about 50% effaced.  Well, I returned home and suffered through the rest of the day and night.  All the while thinking, how in the world am I going to keep this up?  Then I woke up the next day feeling nothing.  Ah, sweet relief.  And for many reasons.  We apparently don't *plan* our babies very well and Joey HAD to be at work the first part of the week.  It was either have the baby yesterday, or not until next Thursday... That and we weren't really sure what we'd do with the rest of our kids if he came early...  So we went on with our normal activities, I thinking that the baby had turned over, ready for a smooth trip into the world. 

Set up our induction date for Friday, April 9th.  My parents would be here Thursday night to watch the other kiddos and then we'd have all weekend.  (Joey again HAD to be at work the first part of the week-but then would have 2 weeks paid paternity leave.)  Now, a part of me wanted to just wait for him to come, but the whole, 'what do I do with 3 other little kids' made me a little nervous, although so many people in our ward had offered to help...

April 9th, 2010

1 am:  Finally get back into bed after giving Marryn another breathing treatment.  Why would my kids have to get sick now...first Reganne all week with her croupy cough she gets and now Marryn...

3 am:  Hear Marryn crying again.  Joey gets up this time.

5:30 am:  Time to get up.  Eat breakfast.  Take showers.

6:45 am:  Arrive 15 minutes late to our *appointment*. 

7:30-8:30ish am:  Get set up and started on the petocin.  Dilated to a 3.

10ish am:  Get epidural.  Not for the pain of the contractions (still pretty light), but for the pain in my pelvic area and thinking, he's probably getting closer to coming.  For some odd reason, I expected this delivery to be just like Christian's...

3 pm:  Have watched almost all of Season 9 of Friends, starving, tired and yet, only dilated to a 4 and still not effaced much.  Actually, I was effaced on one side, like a cresent shape...never heard of that before...  Even after spending an hour reclined on my sides with a leg up on an exercise ball to get the baby to move off my cervix so it could efface and dilate...  He wasn't ready to come out yet...  He's going to be tiny, I just know it...

4 pm:  Starting to feel some pressure...

4:32 pm:  Kellen is placed on my chest.  After about 15 minutes of hard pushing and burning and tearing (and what felt on the top, not bottom...).  This kid never actually turned (?) and made his way into this world face up.  Yeah, that did not feel good.  And boy, was he ugly...  His head was totally misshapen with a big red line going down the middle of his face and head.  His nose was huge and puffy and his hands.  So this had nothing to do with his delivery, but he's got the biggest hands.  They're huge.

They finally took him to check him out.  He wasn't breathing great.  And he wasn't tiny either;).  We had a respiratory therapist at the delivery checking him out and he was a little concerned.  Which brought panic to us.  But after he brought him back over to me all swaddled up, his breathing almost instantly cleared up.  And he's been great ever since.  I had told Joey from the beginning that I'm fine with this being our last baby, but not if he's sick.  I can't end on that.  But here Kellen is.   

1 day old. 

And already looking better;).

Healthy.  Fine.  

For now.  We'll be watching him carefully the next couple months, but we feel good that he's good. 

We stayed the extra day.  The kids were doing great with my parents (apparently better than with us;), oh, and Marryn was much better the next day, luckily) and I needed a little more rest.  The afterpains, terrible.  They say they get worse with each pregnancy.  They do.  I'm feeling alright now, a week later.  Although, I have just not bounced back like usual.  Still pretty sore down there.  My parents had to leave on Monday, so Joey worked from home all week.  He wasn't as productive as he would have liked to be, but it was SO nice to just have him here if I needed him.  Our good friend took Marryn to and from school almost everyday and another friend had Reganne over to play one afternoon.  So I've been able to take it really easy.  Went to Target with Reganne yesterday (needed size 1 diapers-although Kellen fits in the newborn ones, they just won't hold anything).  Was wiped by the time I got home.  The next 2 weeks will be great though.  Joey will be home and not working (for the most part).  Hopefully we'll get into a routine...

Christian has been really good with the baby.  Just wants to hold him, which we don't let him because now he's sick with a cough and runny nose.  And when he gets a runny nose, it lasts for about 2 months.  It really sucks.  But he has been acting out.  Probably a combination of bringing home a new baby and not feeling well.  The girls too adore Kellen.  Reganne constantly calls him "the new baby."  We're working on calling him his name.  Or K.J.  Our families aren't too fond of his name, so they've already  nicknamed him that.  They like the John, not the Kellen.  

And Kellen himself.  Perfect.  Has only cried a handful of times, mostly when getting changed.  Sleeps a little too much during the day and tends to get up more often at night...we're working on that:).  Nurses really really well.  I tend to be a *late bloomer* with my milk not coming in for about a week.  Not this time.  3 days.  And alot of it.  We've even gotten a few contentment smiles out of him.  He looks so different than all our other newborns.  Well, they've all looked different, but similar.  He just looks alot different, but still a little similar.  My family thinks he might actually look like my side.  We'll see though.  They change so much.  We're hoping he's going to have blonde hair.  And Marryn's hoping for blue eyes.  I think she feels left out;). 

Home at last.

Almost too long for his cute outfit.

Check out those huge hands.

  

It's funny looking back.  Although my pregnancies are similar and pretty plain, every delivery has been just so different.  Not sure there will be a 6th, so no telling what the next one would be like;).  For now we're just so grateful to have our 4 healthy children.  Don't know if we can handle the stress of what if again....

 

introducing

Kellen John Poll

4.9.10

8 lbs 12 oz

21.5 inches

one week (and 27 years)

Yesterday we celebrated week one with our precious baby boy. It's still surreal, but yet, so normal. I can't imagine, after just one week, not having him here with us. Although, I have great fears that within the coming weeks and months, something will go wrong (to back up my fears, not that I want to, a baby was recently lost to ACD [Landen's disease] after being home and fine for 2 months...something uncommon, but obviously possible). Joey has reassured me that he's fine, but that worry just will not go away. Nevertheless, I thank Heavenly Father for this special child and pray that he is here to stay.

3 days old

Yesterday we also celebrated my 27th birthday. Wow. Not to offend any of you who might be a bit older, but I seem so old! I don't feel old. In fact, I still feel like I'm barely hitting the "legal age." And 27 doesn't sound old. I think it's just that these past years have gone by so fast. And then I look at my children and just want them to stay just as they are, but yet, I get so excited when they learn something new and well just grow. I want time to stand still but yet, keep going. Is that possible? Anyhow.

Christian's labor went really well. In fact, overall, I will say it was the best labor and delivery I have had. We went in around 5:30 am (which was a stretch for me, as many who know, I am not a morning person), but the excitement and fear was enough to get me up and going. The nurse put in the IV, which was so smooth (the more I seem to experience something, the more I seem to fear it...) and then they started the petocin. Almost immediately the contractions started, but not very strong. Within a few hours, Joey suggested I get the epidural, before things got too uncomfortable (uncomfortable even to get one). I put it off for a bit longer, I wasn't really in alot of pain yet, but finally decided he was right. He has been through 3 deliveries too... Now, for those of you who do the natural labor, I salute you. I KNOW how painful it is, having been through 2 labors in great agony, I don't like pain. As I was mentioning earlier, the IV kind of freaks me out... So I geared up for the epidural and again, it was so smooth. (The only reason this birth beats out Marryn's is the epidural, for Marryn they had to bring in another anesthesiologist to try putting it in.) After that, Joey and I both took a nap before waking up to feeling the contractions on one side in one spot. That same spot I first felt them with Reganne's.... Called the nurse in, who called the anesthesiologist in, who gave me a little shot of extra "stuff". Worked like a charm. So then Joey headed out to get himself some food. The nurse came in soon later, the babies heart rate had sped up or down, I don't remember, but most likely from the "extra stuff" I had gotten. She check me, I was dilated to a 7. So she propped me up on my side, put me on oxygen (to give the baby a boost) and then had me call Joey back up. He has a bit freaked out when he came in, but all was fine. It wasn't long later they were calling in the doctor and within about 5 minutes, 2 contractions, baby Christian was out, 11:50 am. (Now, to go back to that pain stuff. Yes, his delivery was still painful. I still felt the pressure and burning, but it only lasted that short bit. I can deal with that.) They handed him up to me and I just started crying. He wasn't crying. I was trying not to freak out. Everyone (by everyone, I mean the pediatric nurse practitioner and respiratory therapist that was brought in because of our situation) kept telling me he looked great, but I was really freaked out. Landen didn't cry much. The girls screamed. But within minutes, he was crying. Not a ton, but he was breathing and crying. And nobody seemed panicked but me. They just kept guessing if he was going to weigh more than his sister (9 lb Reganne). And no he didn't. And no, he didn't have much hair either (the ultrasound lied). So he was fine. And I was fine, I tore, of course, but nothing else.

Baby in the Belly

Baby out of the Belly

Batman Baby(?)

I got to eat lunch soon after. Actually I got to eat 2 lunches. They mixed up my tray and had to remake my order, but I got to keep the first one too. And then we just hung out until my epidural wore off. They then moved me to Women's Care and we enjoyed the rest of the evening with our new baby boy and a steak and lobster "Celebration Dinner" (on the hospital). Christian slept great, going down for the night at midnight and not getting up until 6ish. Nursed well. I was really, really sore, but opted to go home the next day anyhow.

We brought him home and the girls have just adored him since. Even Reganne. We were a little worried about her (was sure she'd try to steal his plug, seeing that she still has hers...). We knew Marryn would be great, and she has, putting his plug back in when it would pop out, covering him up in his blanket, wiping up his spit up... Reganne just likes to sit in his carseat and swing in the swing. Although she pipes up everytime he cries, "Baby crying" with a sad look on her face. She did want to hold him once. And didn't want to give him up. It was so funny. She was sitting upright in our recliner, but as she held him, kept laying herself down and was soon "reclined" with her head up on one arm and her legs on the other. Jean took a bunch of pictures (I wasn't about to leave her alone to get my camera) so hopefully I can get some and post them. He is a great little baby, sleeps, nurses and poops. What more could we ask for!

Christian with Big Sis Marryn

As for me. I'm doing great. I seem to heal very well and quickly. In fact my mom called one day asking what I was doing,

"Vacuuming."

"Should you be doing that?"

"Why not?"

"Well, you just had a baby a couple days ago."

"Oh, yeah..."

And yesterday (yes, on my birthday) I spent a good portion cleaning and vacuuming out our van, washing all the carseats and covers and resituating them to accommodate our newest member. (You would think that would be an awful way to spend a birthday, but when I got into the car later to go out to dinner, it made me so happy to see it all clean!) I've lost 25 lbs so far (of the stinkin' 50 I gained...urr) and will probably only drop another 5 within the next week or so, then it'll really slow down. I'd say I don't know why I gain so much (50, 40, 45 and now another 50) but then I realized, as I ate cookie dough out of the tub for breakfast, that I know exactly why I gain so much...

My surprise Cold Stone Cake (with cake batter ice cream, yum!)

The Best Birthday Present Ever!

Reganne dressed herself again (Dad's hat and socks, Reganne's bloomers)

Christian David Poll

July 12, 2008

8 lbs 7 oz, 21 inches

baby update #3

Had my 39 week appointment on Monday. Again, not much has really changed, but we did set an inducement date for this Saturday, July 12.

I'm a bit worried about being induced. I had a really rough time with Reganne. And kind of the same situation, I was due on Tuesday (currently due next Tuesday) but opted to be induced the Saturday before. Everything was fine, was given pitocin, was slowly dilating, got my epidural and then suddenly started to have some pain on one side. The nurse checked me and I was only at a 5, so she suggested I roll to that side. The pain just got worse and worse and 15 minutes later she checked me again to find that I was fully dilated and ready to deliver! No time for anything. Not even time for my midwife to get there! She had to call out into the hall to get someone in there to help! I only pushed for about half an hour, but oh, was it hell. Reganne came out fine, didn't get stuck or anything, but sure did a number on my cervix. I remember when they delivered her they put her up on my chest, but I'll tell you what, that was the last thing I wanted. I was trembling so bad. After they got me drugged up and numb again, then was I able to pay attention to her. They spent alot of time trying to stitch me up (and restitch me up...). They almost took me to the operating room, but finally managed to do what they needed to. Then I was fine. Did stay in the hospital until that Monday, but otherwise healed up just fine. I talked later to my midwife about it and she explained that the petocin kicked in and because I've done this before, my body knew what to do and just did it so fast that the epidural couldn't "keep up."

So my delima was to be induced or not to be induced. I would be willing to wait until he "wanted" to come out, but if the ultrasound was right, almost 3 weeks ago he was measuring just about 8 lbs. Add the 1/2 lb he'd gain each week and that sets me up to have a pretty big kid. Especially if he didn't come for another 2 more weeks or so....

Marryn has been my only pleasant delivery. Because Landen's shoulders had gotten stuck (a whole other bad delivery story), they induced me really early with Marryn, only to have a 7 1/2 lb baby. Very nice. But who knows. I don't feel like this baby is super big or anything. But of course I never imagined Reganne would be 9 lbs. Maybe low 8, but not anything more.

The really nice thing about being induced is that we can be sure someone is here with the girls. Jean (Joe's mom) will come up from Loveland on Friday and stay through the weekend with the girls. My mom's in Arizona, a little bit further away, but hopefully she'll come up soon and stay for a week or so. And Joe also gets a week off (paid) for Paternity Leave, so that's really nice. Although if need be, he can also work from home. He just doesn't get as much done when he does that....

baby update #2

No baby yet, thankfully....

Had my 38 week appointment on Monday. Nothing new, nothing has changed. Going to wait another week and then probably schedule an inducement (hopefully for that Friday night/Saturday-easier on Joe's work schedule...) if he doesn't come before then. And based on my past, he won't.

Although we thought he might be coming last Saturday. That early afternoon I started having ALOT of contractions, although very irregular. Now, as any mother of 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc babies will tell you, from about 3-4 months on, you get contractions. So having contractions, even strong ones was nothing new, but I was having alot of them. And in addition, I was also having tons of pressure in my pelvic bone. So I literally sat and watched TV all afternoon because it hurt to walk around. By that evening, the pressure was lifting and I got up to do some stuff (I figured if I prepared for the baby, he wouldn't come...). And just like that, the contractions eased up quite a bit. A sure sign it wasn't labor. On a sad note, Joey panicked and had his mom drive down from Loveland (she arrived around midnight) just in case. I told him to wait until the morning to see how I felt, but he was too worried. She then had to turn around and drive back the next day.

We really didn't want the baby to come on Sunday, or even near that date. It was our anniversary. What fun would that be, for any of us! And then we really don't want his birthday to be near 4th of July either...who wants to share a birthday with a holiday? Funny though, Reganne was due on Halloween. We felt the same about her too. Who wants their birthday overshadowed by another event? Sure everyone is celebrating and having parties, but it's not for you....

baby update

Three weeks to go.

Or so I thought...

Monday I had my 37 week appointment in addition to another ultrasound to measure the baby. With my past history (Landen's shoulder dystocia at 8 lbs and Reganne tearing up my cervix at 9 lbs), the doctor wants to make sure this baby doesn't get too big. Well, the ultrasound measured him at 7 lbs, 15 oz, although that could be off a pound either way...so the kid is somewhere between almost 7 lbs and almost 9 lbs...that tells us alot. But in addition, he's measuring closer to a 39 week baby, not 37. So the doctor suggested doing an amniosis to check if his lungs where mature enough (wouldn't tell us anything about ACD-Landen's problem) and possibly induce this week.

YIKES!

I am NOT ready to have this baby. In my head I still have three weeks to go. That's three weeks I need to get ready still. Three weeks to enjoy being a mother to just my two girls. Three weeks to find all the baby stuff. Three weeks to meet with our new pediatrician. Three weeks to enjoy (somewhat) a full night's sleep. Three weeks. (I must sound crazy, what pregnant women wouldn't LOVE the opportunity to get her baby out early?)

But then the evening comes and my back hurts, my pelvic bone aches...night comes and I can't get comfortable to even sleep. My shoulders fall asleep throughout the night but it hurts too much to roll over to my other side. Can't even think about sleeping on my back. Then there is the pinched nerve thing in my butt.... Morning comes and I wonder how I made it...and how I'm going to make it through another day.

It wouldn't be too bad if he came a bit early....so I guess I'm not that crazy....

We decided however to give it another week, at least. I have my next appointment Monday and we'll go from there. Where, I don't know, but we'll go from there.

FYI-the ultrasound showed this little baby with alot of hair. Why is it that my boys get the hair and my girls are bald? Does that seem fair at all? (And no, I don't get heartburn ever...heard that was what gave babies hair.) Oh, and it was again confirmed that this is in fact, a boy.

happy birthday landen

Sunday, June 1st, we celebrated what would have been Landen's 5th birthday. Marryn helped me make some cupcakes and we all sang "Happy Birthday" and blew out 5 candles. The girls both got a small present as well, just as if Landen were here with us. This is the first year we haven't been able to put out flowers and balloons on his grave, since we recently moved, but the first year that we had a "party" for him. We've decided to make this our little tradition, especially as Marryn and Reganne, are getting older, understanding more who Landen is. This was not a sad day. Just a special day.


I know that we haven't talked alot or told many people about our first child. It's not that we don't like to bring it up or talk about Landen, it's more that we don't like to make other people uncomfortable. We have found great peace through the gospel of Jesus Christ in the short life of our son. We know that this was the plan of our great Heavenly Father.

Landen Joseph was born full term, 8 lb 4 oz, after a seemingly uncomplicated pregnancy. I say seemingly because at about 35 weeks, I thought that my water had broke. I went in for an exam, and was reassured that I was fine. About 6 weeks later when I went in labor, my midwife tried to break my water to speed things up, only to find no water sac. In fact, she could feel the baby's head, full of hair. He was later born with very little water, and a head full of curly blond hair. Delivery was rough. I opted for the epidural only to find the hour of pushing horrific. His shoulders got stuck, which only made the pain worse, but he finally came out. I wasn't able to hold him at first, but he was kept in the room with us while he was cleaned up and given oxygen. Then before they took him to the NICU, I was able to hold him briefly. Never at this moment did we or any of the nurses and doctors expect anything more than just a rough delivery.

Within hours, the oxygen hood he was under was failing to provide him with adequate oxygen and he was incubated. Within hours of that, it was clear that it wasn't working as well. Soon a call was put out to The Children's Hospital in Denver and by that night, he was on his way there. Joey and I left the next morning and met with a specialist there. It was determined that he had Pulmonary Hypertension and would need to be on ECMO, a lung and heart bypass machine. In addition, his lungs were very small, a byproduct of low amniotic fluid. Landen was on ECMO for about a week, before taken off. He did well for a couple days, then started to deteriorate again. By this time the doctors knew it was probably something else that was causing the Pulmonary Hypertension. First test, a lung biopsy determined what they feared. He had Alveolar Capillary Dysplasia, a very rare and fatal newborn disorder. The air sacs and capillaries in his lungs did not line up and therefore could not exchange oxygen. There was nothing we could do for him and within a few days, we took him off life support at just 20 days old.

Losing Landen had proven to be the most difficult thing we have had to go through. But the worst may not be over. The cause of his condition is not fully understood or known, but it is thought to be a genetic condition, in which every child we have has a 25% chance of having ACD. Although new findings are questioning that, but not necessarily in a positive way.